Salam guys. 

Today's topic:

So my family decided to put on a kenduri tahlil/kesyukuran menyambut Ramadhan tomorrow Saturday 5th of May 2018. I am working from home, and as a traditionalist parents that I've got, they'll just put me under the category of unemployed. So as we speak, my parents were worried sick of how I'm still chill and relax by the idea of me not working and be resourceful of my own. So earlier on (as I'm typing this entry) I went to the kitchen just to find my mom was busy chopping potatoes, soaking green beans for bubur kacang later, frying tempe and she starts whining of how I am never a help in the kitchen while she's busy doing all these stuff. 

The menu is pretty epic, lining up to Ikan Patin Masak Tempoyak, Ayam Goreng Berempah, Gulai Nenas Ikan Masin, Ikan Keli Goreng Sambal, two more fishes TBA of the dishes, some fruits, popiah goreng, kek batik and air sarsi. I was shocked, but that's kinda the norm of whenever this family put on a kenduri. 

Here's the ranting part of my mom to me earlier just now. She said, 

"Esok jangan tidur je, bangun awal, tolong mak, banyak benda nak kena buat. Nanti semua orang tanya mak, mana Anas, mana Anas, mana Anas, kau tu keje tidur je," as always, that has been her favorite modal to make me do work. But to her non-concerning mind, I'd already came out with a fistful amount of thoughts to it. 

I know a lot of guests will come, collectively from my relatives, my parents closest friends, the neighborhood and some random people that I might or might not recognize their face will attend the kenduri. Traditionally as it has always been, the kenduri will start after Zohor, with greetings from my dad and tahlil right after. Now, here comes the part where we feed the guests. 

I was brought up with enough information about this kenduri thang and how it works, and how it exhaust the host and how it really means to feed people who came to your house and do some tahlil with you. Here comes the part where I got triggered. Mom was so furious when I caged myself up in the room because I don't wanna meet my super-bawang maciks and their super-bawang questions, but mind you, I've already got plenty of counter attack answers to that. The thing that triggers me the most is how my mom blurt out saying she's so freaking tired of cooking of preparing a lot of stuff with no help from her kids (this is so untrue) and how she wanted all of her kids to layan the guests and entertain them. I for one has a supreme allergies to bullshits comes to the realization that, WHO ARE WE KIDDING?

I was about to educate my mom on this but she said this first. 

"Belajar tinggi-tinggi tapi tak boleh fikir" Kak Ros triggered me hard. 

The idea of me going out and entertain the guests? Yes, acceptable. But to impress them with their shitty questions? and people asking of my whereabouts? (INTENSIFIES) I am under no obligation to impress these people I hardly even talk to except raya or just a simple hai, apa khabar that's it. But to my mom's mind, I have to fulfill their wishes of wanting to know my whereabouts, wad do I do now, bila nak kahwin, bila nak mati dan segala mak nenek soalan dorang nak bagi. Now, that idea right there, is a bullshit of idea of having a kenduri. 

This is 2018 guys. This is the era of where people mind their own business. Kau nak kerja? Kau nak kahwin? Kau nak pindah rumah? Kau nak mati? It's up to you, nobody else will do it for you. It's your effort, your job, your thang. There'll be people saying, in religion saying that we should take care of our relatives and all, yes shit. Look at how you look after your neighborhood. Sometimes benda tu pemanis mulut je, ice breaking to start a conversation, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THAT. But seeing my mom taking shit too serious like my future depends on talking to relatives and reporting my status to them, now that's what triggers me the most. 

Guys, I'm not saying this to burukkan my relatives, I'm sure enough all sedara melayu did this once in a while, I love my saudara mara from my abah's side or my mak's side. They're cool. The idea of this entry was simply just to fight off my mom's idea of how a kenduri should work. 

You know what's the ugly truth of having to hold a kenduri at your house is? Guests will never know your financial state, you burn your chicken when you're cooking Ayam Rempah, you chopped your finger when you're slice open a big ass tembikai, or let alone what's your health a night before. They come for the feast, they did ask how do we do though, but obviously we're gonna answer almost immediately we're doing fine.

Don't take me wrong, some did come early to help, I was just focusing on those people who think they're the superior guests. Weh, kalau aku datang rumah orang lambat (lagi2 sedara) and tak tolong pape, aku tutup mulut je weh, takde nak jadi Super-Bawang kat situ. Ringan tangan tolong basuhkan pinggan or clean up the mess dkt buffet pun dah kira ok. And to that point I'm asking again, datang pun sekadar untuk makan kenduri, what makes them eligible of knowing what's my struggle and what I'm fighting for when they weren't even there in the first place.

Kau makan dan kau berambus. Kau sapa nak tau pasal hidup aku? I don't even know you. Habis citer.

p/s: people will say I'm ignorant in being in my own bubble, or tak nak campur orang. Oh honey trust me, I've met enough people to take them seriously or not.

some more p/s: I don't think I can educate my mom on this rebellious idea, see, she's a traditionalist minded. It's just how things are. Samalah macam macik2 Super Bawang yang tak ke mana tu. Saying I'm not doing anything with me not working and them membawang has no outcome of it, what's make the difference? Odd...