Valediction: Part 1

21/12/20

In Izira's multiple relationships she had before, she was very particular in saying yes. Nak makan mana, nak keluar pergi mana, nak naik kereta siapa, nak buat apa hari ni, all the common questions during dating, requires a certain answer, and mostly when suggested with some answers, Izira would consider first, before saying yes. Tapi dia semakin belajar, yang dia tak boleh sentiasa jawab ya, untuk setiap pertanyaan, and end up hurting her own feelings. Like all her failed relationships before. 

I can spend the whole day writing about it, but let's not go there. But when we wanna talk about her marriage plans? It's a different story altogether. Marriage is the starting point of sailing in the unforeseen circumstances ahead of you. Love is when you're in the phase of hanging out with someone you like, having mutual conversations and laugh at the idea of having common interests, that's dating. A relationship is a responsibility for both parties to balance out the yin and yang, the black and white, the good and bad, and a relationship was supposed to be murky puddle before it came down to clear water. 

In this timeline, Waris will tell you the story of Izira with his jodoh-prima. The one she did not expect to have a place in her heart, let alone getting on to the question of Will you marry me?

It was very last minute, a short noticed kinda thing. Izira masih blur, dan dia ingatkan lamaran Hail cuma gurauan, lagi teruk dia ingatkan Hail ajak-ajak ayam! Ah sudah...

Cara Izira dan Hail kenal was abrupt spontaneous, but not a surprise as they are colleagues under the same roof. 

Waris remembered correctly, Hail pernah nampak Izira maki supplier dalam talian, like a full-blown *F you kinda curse, and oddly enough, he felt that moment if he saw the girl's worst, he's committed to seeing the girl's best. So he took the first step in knowing the petite Izira. 

Izira bertambah keliru. That guy literally saw a beast, straight-up cursing on top of her lungs, and he fell head over hell for her? Despite being the opposites to each other, the yin and yang, kutub utara kutub selatan, of entirely different background, but the more confusing thing was, notwithstanding with her principle of considering the YES word, she agreed to test the water with Hail. 

They didn't date for too long, give or take, 4-5 months? And out of nowhere, Hail proposed to her. Izira pernah merasa semua jenis rejection, dan banyak versi broken-hearted. She won't let this one be the next. She truly wanna believe that this is it. He's the one. She had her time thinking thru the decision that will make or break her future life. Unbeknownst to anyone else, not even her family, not even her friends, and not even me, 

Izira said yes.

***

In the midst of it all, Izira knew she's gonna hurt some hearts along the way. People that she should consult on such a serious matter. Tapi kalau consult sejuta orang pun, kalau dah sebentuk hati tu diterbitkan rasa yakin dengan orang depan mata, itulah yang dinamakan jodoh. 

When the news broke, Waris was taken back. He met Hail once, in the middle of a pitch-black night, when he came over to Waris' house when Izira and he were hanging out. He was looking for Izira's car, and he knew by heart which was my house. The boy got a strong hunch. 

Waris couldn't make his face, but that was the first time we greeted each other. Fast forward to 4 months after that, the news of Izira got engaged to Hail spread like a contained fire. Izira made some hints of the occasion, and she really made plans to talk about it all night long, like we used to. 

But the day never comes. 

The idea of marriage in Islamic teaching was supposed to be as holistic and all-rounder as possible. For the pair to be able to take care of each other not only physically, mentally, religiously, and complimenting each other's short of characters. 

For Waris, love is steady, rational, and logical. Love usually makes sense, and you could only love someone that you admire and relate to. 

He congratulated Izira on her engagement the day after, via text. 

"Thanks Is, aku nak jumpa kau haritu, tapi your sis said you weren't home yet."

"It's okay, my mom told me about it."

"Aku buat simple je, 5 orang je yang datang dari keluarga dia"

"You're referring to Hail kan?"

"Ha'ah."

"Congrats again Iz"

"Thank you babe."

That was how brief their conversation has gotten these couple of months. In hoping for a more heart-to-heart talk while listening to our favourite song to jam, and braiding each other's hair and making silly jokes, and laughing out loud to the nonsense we talked about in the middle of the night. 

It feels different. It feels odd.