• Greetings. Welcome to my humble portfolio compatible to blog format. Please feel free to comb thru the photos as they have been categorized together according to their titled group. All works are original unless stated so. Images used were outsourced from google pictures. Half of the works are assignment based for academic purposes and are not for outside use. My editing works varies from theater posters, documentary posters, assignments posters, up to test shoot (editorial photoshoot). 

    Disclaimer: In a lot of the Editorial photoshoot, I was potrayed as the main model, but these were all just for personal fun. I am not a professional, paid or trained model but open for any possibilities. The shoots are mainly for personal use and collection only.

    1. Theater Posters
    Senteri Mungkar (1st Show 2015)

    Samaran Karma (2nd Show 2016)

    Kintsugi (3rd Show 2016) 1st Version

    Kintsugi (3rd Show 2016) 2nd Version

    Kintsugi (3rd Show 2016) 3rd Version

    Kintsugi (3rd Show 2016) 4th Version

    Kintsugi (Reprise Show 2017) New Version

    Maharani (4th Show 2018)

    2. Video Assignment Posters
    Orkid : Short Film (2015)
    #switchoffthestereo : Documentary (2017)
    Stepmom : Reprise Short Film (2017) 
    Fitting In : Documentary (Mock-up Poster) (2017)
    Fitting In : Documentary (Tilt Version) (2017)
    3. Assignments Posters
    The Tell-Tale Heart (Book Cover Version)
    The Tell-Tale Heart (Movie Poster Version)
    Language At The Workplace Poster : Report Writing
    Si Tenggang Homecoming : Poster

    4. Editorial Shoots (Personal Collection)

    i) Open Season Photoshoot 
    (Photographed & Edited by Mietography) Click on the word Mietography and feel free to browse through their website for more editorial photoshoot that I've co-directed with the team.

    ii) #switchoffthestereo Test Shoot

    iii) WHACK Album Photoshoot 
    (Photographed by Mietography, Fully edited by myself)

    iv) The Nocturnals 
    (2018 Aidilfitri Photoshoot) Featuring the whole family, it has become an annual tradition for us to gather and work for an editorial shoot with the whole family during Raya.

    1st Teaser
    2nd Teaser
    3rd Concept Teaser
    4th Concept Teaser

    End of Portfolio (as updated on 4th of July 2018) 
    *to be updated from time to time. 

    Appreciate your stay. 
  • It was a cold night back then. In a computer lab, super remote, ground floor of the administration building. We were having an IT class I reckon. That was the birth of this blog.

    It has gone thru countless of editing, drafts, template changes, tags, deleted entries, tribute posts, uploads for transfers, friend making medium, heart breaking (inevitable) and so much more. It has seen the admin in his tears, loudest laugh, purest heart, darkest secrets in the draft box, and a thousand more memories in the making.

    It acts as a personal diary, with almost 700 followers back then. But now, it just becoming a pit-stop for a late night writing session. It has been bridges linking new people, new ideas, new stuff to share, stories to be heard, people to meet, hands to shake, hearts to break. This has been the longest achievement I've managed to keep it alive.

    It has gone thru the most active years of its own. The PRIME blogging era, the one day up till 5 entries. The PING at almost 20 different FB pages. The tags, the chatbox, the drops, the visits, and everything in its power just to get people to come visit, and read. This blog has been thru it all.

    I must say, I was a bit disappointed when I can't sustain the activeness, the story telling, the segments, but yeah, life moves on. No ticking back, just ticking forward.

    It has witnessed lives, and deaths of people I've loved, I've known, I've talked to. It has witnessed love far greater than story books, dramas far worse than movies. It knows it all.

    In despite of all loses, there are gain. People can relate after the read. People responds, commented and react to the stories. That's what makes the writing a bit worthy. As of today, a friend of mine lost his dear father, my cousin wedded to a lovely girl. Life is so much more than just a piece of blogspot. Life is out there, waiting for adventurers, roaming and experience it themselves.

    In loving memory of the late Mohd Johari, my dear friend Akir, some other people highlighted to have gone left us for the Creator. Al-Fatihah.

    In lieu of new stories to write, new love to share, new dramas to unfold, Bismillah.
    It was a cold night back then. 9 years back then.
  • Salam Akir. Here we go again. Today, marks the 8th year of your departure. Leaving us, leaving your family, your parents, your siblings, your hometown, your friends, leaving me. This shouldn't be the same old same old tear-jerker kinda entry as I wrote that a few years back. I didnt got the time to write you a tribute entry last year, I'm sorry. Usually, I'd just steal sometimes to honor you by posting your edited photos up in social medias. I do have the best edited photo of you for last year, it was just, I couldn't find the time to write to you. 

    Dear Akir, 

    Rest well. We know you're in good hands, in Allah's embrace. You left on a very calm Friday. Cold, windy, rainy Friday. A lot of us cried that day, especially your family. I did too. Years passed by, some of us might have forgotten of the day you left, some may just remembered that you passed, some may remembered the how, the when, the where. Some may never find the solace of your departure, some may just leave it to Allah. I would always look forward to June Akir. To how I wanna edit some more tribute pics of you, to writing to you these cheesy letters, entries, short poems, remembering you thru ur favorite songs. 

    I couldn't find the right phrase or words to describe my longing to you. But as far as I am still breathing, my prayers go to you darling. If missing you is in a little light bulb, it will stay lit, on and on.

    Dear Akir,

    Today is already the 26th Ramadan, and for a lot of us, this is the final push towards that one night holier than a thousand months. There'll be a lot of Muslims overnight for extra ibadah, be it personally, or jamaie. And for me, tonight is for you Akir. Honoring you, remembering you, and my prayers for you. May you ever be joyous in the hereafter, granted Jannah as per promised will be presented to the humblest servant of Allah, and Akir,

    Till Then, 
    Al Fatihah.
  • Hey guys. Salam hari Jumaat. So on last Wednesday (9th May 2018) the whole Malaysia was shooketh on the poling results after our 14th General Election to pick a new governing body for Malaysia. 

    Ia merupakan satu pengalaman baru bagi aku sebab this was my first time voting. Kawan aku yang lahir bulan Januari/Februari 1991, this was their second since diorang sempat mendaftar utk vote at 13th PRU, 5 years ago (klau slh sila betulkn). So kalau nak cerita pengalaman first timer tu, sama je kut untuk any 90s babies especially 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96 & some of 97 babies. 

    I still remember how I'd registered dkt kampus dulu with one of my bff, and we were so excited to cast our first vote that will change the shape of the future. (bunyik nak gah je). Anyhoo, at that time I would already know by heart who should I cast my vote to since the tyrannical government yg dah memerintah and has been a pain in the ass for the past two semesters of their ruling. 

    The funny part of my first hand experience voting was that, the whole family has to go back to Sungai Buloh to vote, and I'm the only one tersangkut kena pergi vote dkt SK Batu Arang. Nasib baik sepupu aku pun vote kat situ, so we went early that morning. Cerita dia, sepupu aku ajak pukul 6.30 pagi! tak boleh blah (asdfghjkl) punyalah aku bgn awal pagi tu, sekali dia datang amik kat rumah pukul 7.50 dah nak dekat pukul 8. PIGIDAH JANJI MELAYU KAU IJAH!

    Once dah park kereta, time ni dah ada satu barisan luar sekolah sementara tunggu pintu pagar utama sekolah tu bukak since voting starts at 8 and kitorang sampai memang tepat pukul 8. Lucky us, tak ramai sangat time tu. We went in, and queue macam biasa. (Ada this one funny incident happened before I went to line up, tapi ni aku simpan koleksi peribadi jelah) So aku sempat borak dengan perempuan cina depan aku, she was so friendly with her warm smile. Dia tegur semua orang, and a few malay guys up front keep on reminding people queuing behind us by saying, Ni Saluran 5, Saluran 4 kat depan sana. (It was a small gesture tp jadikan the whole voting process a bit more smooth). 

    Petang tu, Ijah belanja Subway dkt Aeon Rawang & kitorang cari cendol sampai ke celah kampung semata2 and talk about everything yg dah lama pending (ni boleh save untuk entry lain kali). That night, I got home and stayed dpan tv smpai pukul 4 pagi, tengok Malaysia Memilih dekat Astro Awani. I gotta say this, Awani is by far, THE MOST HONEST & SPOT ON media yang takde filter dah nak jaga hati ke apa ke, dat was the kinda media dat we want. Bukan yang dok feeding us sugar-coated news, sampai naik berbulu telinga mendengar. 

    Later that morning at 3 am, it has been announced by our beloved Tun Mahathir that Pakatan Harapan won by simple majority of the parliament and dat made them our new government. It got so interesting during the whole process where I got to scroll twitter tgok warga twitter meroyan and bashing on SPR, all viral notes saying ada riot coming in Klang, Putrajaya and a few more places, saying akan ada darurat yadda yadda yadda. But apparently, everything went well and Alhamdulillah, the tyrannical dictator was brought down with fair and square via votes of furious but yet intelligent citizens. (Mama iz proud)

    PRU 14 has mark the image of how an election should work and how the voices of the citizens matter the most to change the governing body. & Afta dat long ass 60 years of dictatorship, we manage to secure a better future in some very good and promising hands of the new cabinet. A super sleek democracy indeed.

    I've read somewhere saying bout the past black history of our DSAI & Tun and how come they could shake hands and hug it out like nothing happened. Some people bash on saying the very next day, GST was still on going and that the new government was a lie and trash (yang ni, minx org yg cakap pasal GST belum terhapus tu, minx dia hapuskan diri dia sendiri please). I laughed it off. I've read some tweets and Instagram captions from our home-grown artists, Afdlin Shauki, Yuna, Adibah Noor by saying some very inspirational and almost tear-jerking stuff, congratulating the new government. 

    We are here to stay, protecting our nation out of bribery, out of scandals, out of conspiracy, out of scams, out of tyranny and dictatorship, out of abuse, out of everything that is wrong and manipulative to the people of the country. 9th May 2018 marks the day of a beautiful nation, changing for the better, growing for the better, and to the black history that will soon be use as a bidding point from the opposition to the new lineup of leaders, it was the power of forgiveness we saw beyond virtue. 

    From a lesson-learnt citizen, To the new governing government, For a better nation, 
    Salam Malaysia Baharu.
    Love, Anas Roshad.


    Education corner. 
    Korang kalau yang tak tau Biduk tu apa, Kiambang tu apa, ha ni ada google picture. LOL.
  • Salam guys. 
    Today's topic:
    So my family decided to put on a kenduri tahlil/kesyukuran menyambut Ramadhan tomorrow Saturday 5th of May 2018. I am working from home, and as a traditionalist parents that I've got, they'll just put me under the category of unemployed. So as we speak, my parents were worried sick of how I'm still chill and relax by the idea of me not working and be resourceful of my own. So earlier on (as I'm typing this entry) I went to the kitchen just to find my mom was busy chopping potatoes, soaking green beans for bubur kacang later, frying tempe and she starts whining of how I am never a help in the kitchen while she's busy doing all these stuff. 

    The menu is pretty epic, lining up to Ikan Patin Masak Tempoyak, Ayam Goreng Berempah, Gulai Nenas Ikan Masin, Ikan Keli Goreng Sambal, two more fishes TBA of the dishes, some fruits, popiah goreng, kek batik and air sarsi. I was shocked, but that's kinda the norm of whenever this family put on a kenduri. 

    Here's the ranting part of my mom to me earlier just now. She said, 

    "Esok jangan tidur je, bangun awal, tolong mak, banyak benda nak kena buat. Nanti semua orang tanya mak, mana Anas, mana Anas, mana Anas, kau tu keje tidur je," as always, that has been her favorite modal to make me do work. But to her non-concerning mind, I'd already came out with a fistful amount of thoughts to it. 

    I know a lot of guests will come, collectively from my relatives, my parents closest friends, the neighborhood and some random people that I might or might not recognize their face will attend the kenduri. Traditionally as it has always been, the kenduri will start after Zohor, with greetings from my dad and tahlil right after. Now, here comes the part where we feed the guests. 

    I was brought up with enough information about this kenduri thang and how it works, and how it exhaust the host and how it really means to feed people who came to your house and do some tahlil with you. Here comes the part where I got triggered. Mom was so furious when I caged myself up in the room because I don't wanna meet my super-bawang maciks and their super-bawang questions, but mind you, I've already got plenty of counter attack answers to that. The thing that triggers me the most is how my mom blurt out saying she's so freaking tired of cooking of preparing a lot of stuff with no help from her kids (this is so untrue) and how she wanted all of her kids to layan the guests and entertain them. I for one has a supreme allergies to bullshits comes to the realization that, WHO ARE WE KIDDING?

    I was about to educate my mom on this but she said this first. 

    "Belajar tinggi-tinggi tapi tak boleh fikir" Kak Ros triggered me hard. 

    The idea of me going out and entertain the guests? Yes, acceptable. But to impress them with their shitty questions? and people asking of my whereabouts? (INTENSIFIES) I am under no obligation to impress these people I hardly even talk to except raya or just a simple hai, apa khabar that's it. But to my mom's mind, I have to fulfill their wishes of wanting to know my whereabouts, wad do I do now, bila nak kahwin, bila nak mati dan segala mak nenek soalan dorang nak bagi. Now, that idea right there, is a bullshit of idea of having a kenduri. 
    This is 2018 guys. This is the era of where people mind their own business. Kau nak kerja? Kau nak kahwin? Kau nak pindah rumah? Kau nak mati? It's up to you, nobody else will do it for you. It's your effort, your job, your thang. There'll be people saying, in religion saying that we should take care of our relatives and all, yes shit. Look at how you look after your neighborhood. Sometimes benda tu pemanis mulut je, ice breaking to start a conversation, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THAT. But seeing my mom taking shit too serious like my future depends on talking to relatives and reporting my status to them, now that's what triggers me the most. 
    Guys, I'm not saying this to burukkan my relatives, I'm sure enough all sedara melayu did this once in a while, I love my saudara mara from my abah's side or my mak's side. They're cool. The idea of this entry was simply just to fight off my mom's idea of how a kenduri should work. 

    You know what's the ugly truth of having to hold a kenduri at your house is? Guests will never know your financial state, you burn your chicken when you're cooking Ayam Rempah, you chopped your finger when you're slice open a big ass tembikai, or let alone what's your health a night before. They come for the feast, they did ask how do we do though, but obviously we're gonna answer almost immediately we're doing fine.

    Don't take me wrong, some did come early to help, I was just focusing on those people who think they're the superior guests. Weh, kalau aku datang rumah orang lambat (lagi2 sedara) and tak tolong pape, aku tutup mulut je weh, takde nak jadi Super-Bawang kat situ. Ringan tangan tolong basuhkan pinggan or clean up the mess dkt buffet pun dah kira ok. And to that point I'm asking again, datang pun sekadar untuk makan kenduri, what makes them eligible of knowing what's my struggle and what I'm fighting for when they weren't even there in the first place.

    Kau makan dan kau berambus. Kau sapa nak tau pasal hidup aku? I don't even know you. Habis citer.

    p/s: people will say I'm ignorant in being in my own bubble, or tak nak campur orang. Oh honey trust me, I've met enough people to take them seriously or not.

    some more p/s: I don't think I can educate my mom on this rebellious idea, see, she's a traditionalist minded. It's just how things are. Samalah macam macik2 Super Bawang yang tak ke mana tu. Saying I'm not doing anything with me not working and them membawang has no outcome of it, what's make the difference? Odd...
  • 4.3.2017

    Rita tarik sarung kaki warna hitam macam jala ikan sampai ke lutut. Dia bingkas, capai rokok atas meja solek dan bakar dengan lighter. Rita sorok balik lighter dalam bra dan memandang lelaki terbongkang atas katil yang masih nyenyak tidur.


    Kenapa semua lelaki lepas klimaks tidur macam babi. Kenapa takde sorang pun yang perasan, pasangan dia faked the session. I faked the session. Bodoh punya jantan. Nasib kau bayar aku mahal.

    Rita hisap habiskan rokok di celah bibir. Lelaki tadi mengerang kecil dan betulkan pembaringan. Rita sarung kasut tumit tinggi dia dan berjalan keluar, menuju ke bawah.

    Finished already? Soal Ken

    Rita angguk.

    So fast.

    He fucked hard.

    Uuu…you suka ke sakit?

    Rita geleng. Dah biasa boss. When you’re so used to the job, you hardly feel anything.

    HAHAHA Ken menyalak kuat. Rita Rita, sebab tu I sayang you. You buat kerja tak mengeluh. Setengah chika (pelacur) baru kena tusuk sikit sudah mahu berhenti kerja. Good job.

    I nak pergi beli makanan, lapar lah.

    Hey I nak beer.

    Perut u dah macam babi bunting pun u still minum ke?

    Selagi matahari belum terbit sebelah barat I akan minum sampai puas.

    Bodoh punya orang.

    Rita berjalan ke mamak berhampiran. Semua mata memandang dia yang berpakaian seksi dengan hanya skirt pendek paras peha, stoking jaring paras lutut, dengan solekan tebal, rambut panjang mengurai, beralun, terlantun-lantun buah dada Rita sambil berjalan. Dia berurusan di kaunter dan duduk berhadapan sebuah TV LED besar. Mamak tak pernah tak ada orang. Senang nak hidup sebagai seorang mamak yang bermigrasi ke Malaysia. Kau buka sahaja restoran dan namakan restoran kau dengan nama Melayu seperti Ibrahim, Fariz, Hamid, Razak dan tambah perkataan Maju di belakangnya. Voila, kau akan dapat bisnes yang sentiasa untung, duit masuk macam air.

    Beberapa orang perempuan bertudung tapi tak tutup dada melintasi Rita dan memandang dia dengan pandangan jijik dan jelek. Mereka seakan berbisik selepas melewati dia. Rita biarkan sahaja, Dia dah lali dengan orang nak mengata dia depan-depan atau belakang-belakang. Kemudian beberapa orang lelaki pula melewati dia, pandangan mereka tidak lain tidak bukan, pada dua buah dada montok Rita. Rita tutup dengan rambut.

    Dia sudah malas nak ambil kisah apa pandangan orang terhadap dia. Bukannya mereka yang berada di tempat dia. Dia sendiri yang merasa susahnya mencari duit untuk meneruskan hidup, Kalau tak dah lama dia di tanam di bawah jambatan atau tepi parit atau longkang terbiar.

    Sayang, order siap. Berlagu mamak tadi memanggil nama Rita.

    Rita senyum tawar, bayar makanan dia dan bergerak ke 7 Eleven. Dia mencapai dua tin beer dalam peti sejuk dan sebotol air mineral, bergerak ke kaunter. Kebetulan empat orang lelaki berjubah putih dengan berserban dan berkopiah masuk ke dalam kedai. Rita letakkan tiga item tadi ke atas kaunter dengan tangan kanannya menyeluk ke dalam bra mencari sesuatu.

    Astaghfirullah... keempat-empat mereka istighfar hampir serentak sambil menggelengkan kepala dan tunduk tidak memandang Rita.

    Rita hanya mendengus perlahan. Dia bayar ketiga-tiga barang tadi, sebelum dia beredar dia di tahan oleh empat orang yang berjubah tadi.

    Saudari tak terasa berdosa ke dengan Maha Pencipta?

    Rita tersentak, Maaf ya ustaz-ustaz, saya nak lalu. Dah lambat nak pergi kerja.

    Menjual diri itu bukan suatu pekerjaan. Allah melaknat mereka yang menganiaya diri mereka sendiri.

    Tidakkah kamu takut dengan seksaan Allahusubhanahuwataala di dunia, di dalam kubur nanti, masyaAllah seksaan-seksaan yang dasyat. Lalu kamu akan dicampakkan ke dalam api neraka.

    Rita mendengus lagi.

    Kembalilah ke pangkal jalan saudari. Tinggalkan pekerjaan terkutuk ni.

    Lepas tu nak suruh aku kerja apa? 7E? Tukang masak? Jual kuih? Jadi isteri keempat kau?

    SHHH! Saudari jangan biadap.

    What? Salah? Ke dah habis quota dah?

    Tutup mulut saudari kalau masih bercakap kurang ajar.

    Oh, so orang alim ulamak macam korang je yang boleh ceramah tentang kebaikan pelacur yang masuk syurga sebab bagi minum anjing dalam kasut dan aku tak boleh nak cakap sepatah pun tentang kebenaran hidup sebagai seorang pelacur?

    Tiada faedah datang dari pekerjaan sebagai seorang pelacur

    Belum cuba belum tahu

    Astaghfirullahalazim…bertaubatlah saudari. Selagi nafas masih di rengkung.

    Sedapnya hanya di dunia, sementara. Seksanya…

    Seksanya aku sorang yang tanggung

    Semua orang ada pilihan, kembalilah ke jalan yang benar.

    Bertaubatlah dengan taubat nasuha.

    Rita genggam erat dua bungkusan di tangannya. Beberapa pelanggan yang masuk ke dalam premis tersebut menyaksikan kejadian mengaibkan itu.

    Pilihan kepala hotak kau! Bagitau aku, pilihan apa yang aku ada, kalau aku celik mata je aku takde tempat nak bergantung. Tak tau mana mak bapak aku, yang aku tau aku kena puaskan nafsu sial Pak Cik aku, sampai aku besar. Kau boleh kira berapa tahun aku jadi objek seks untuk darah daging aku sendiri. Bila aku dapat lepaskan diri dari Syaitan tu, pilihan apa yang aku ada dengan tak sekolah, takde pelajaran, takde sapa nak amik aku bekerja dengan diorang. Bila aku pergi masjid, aku pergi surau, semua jemaah kat sana pandang sebelah mata je, sebab cakap aku kotor, surat beranak pun aku takde, sebab aku sendiri tak tau siapa yang beranakkan aku. Macam anjing terbiar, saudara sedaging sedarah seagama kononnya, sorang pun takde yang bela nasib aku dan yang paling bersimpati dengan aku ialah Ken, bapak ayam kat bawah tu. Dia yang jaga aku, bagi aku makan, kalau tak aku dah mati kebuluran, sebab bila aku mintak duit dari orang surau, diorang kata aku masih kuat untuk bekerja. Dan kau kata aku ada pilihan? Pilihan apa? Sial!

    Tengkingan Rita memecah kesunyian premis tersebut. Empat orang berjubah tadi terus tergamam. Roman masing-masing membiru pucat seperti tiada darah yang mengalir.


    Tak payah. Aku tak mintak simpati dari kau pun. Aku tak pernah kacau kau nak berdakwah dekat mana pun, waima kau nak ceramah depan batang hidung aku pun aku tak kisah. Aku boleh dengar, sebab aku bukan jenis manusia yang tak makan saman, bukan jenis yang sombong tak nak dengar nasihat. Tapi pak ustaz sekalian, sebelum tuding jari melulu menghukum orang tak tentu pasal, pastikan diri tu pandai melihat. Pandai menilai menggunakan mata hati. Jangan yang nampak di depan indah macam bunga, tapi hakikatnya busuk macam najis, dan yang kamu semua katakan najis dan dimurka Tuhan itu, dialah yang ada tempatnya di sisi Allah aza wajalla.


    Bila kau terlampau biasa menghukum sesiapa sahaja dengan mata tuli kau, kau akan buta menilai dengan mata hati. Tak semua orang dalam dunia kau tahu baik buruk mereka, asal usul, latar belakang. Jangan sampai kau tersilap hukum dan lupa nilai. Jangan sampai kau anggap yang di depan mu itu cantik tapi memudaratkan kau, dan kau terus membenci yang buruk tapi itu lebih memberi faedah untuk kau. Pokoknya, berikan peluang. Berikan masa, sedikit ruang untuk faham. Kerana kau bukan di tempat mereka.
  • "Allah" tu je sepatah yang aku ingat aku ucapkan bila si Oni yang tak terurus, she was half-naked if I'm not mistaken, datang henyak atas badan aku. Korang pernah dengar term lucid dream? Orang melayu panggil, kena tindih. Hah, macam tulah aku rasa semalam. Aku takleh bergerak, tapi aku sedar aku kena tindih dengan badan Oni, aku cuma dengar Dian menjerit, diikuti dengan jeritan secara synchronize oleh Mia, Bri dan Azi, respectively. Cerita selanjutnya aku tak tahu, sebab aku dah pengsan. 

    Pfft, kemain tunjuk berani sangat, sekali aku yang pengsan dulu. Aku pengsan bersebab ok, Oni tindih aku, dan aku jugak yakin yang dia sempat belasah aku. Sedar2 je, aku dah ada atas katil, tapi bukan katil aku. Ni katil siapa pulak? Aku dudukkan badan. Bilik ni pun bukan bilik aku. Bukan jugak bilik2 bitches aku tu. Ni bilik lelaki ni! Aku bangun terus, sebab pintu terkuak, ada seorang lelaki masuk. Dia senyum kat aku. 

    "Dalam ramai2 orang yang dia hinggap, dia hinggap dekat kau jugak ea Sabrina Rudi" Aku kenal lahabau ni. Dia ex-bf Oni.


    "Ni perantara je, kau bukan ada dekat sini pun. I'm not real, you're not real, this is not real." Ghaz berjalan dekat dengan aku. Aku nak tumbuk dia, tapi satu otot pun tak boleh bergerak. Dan, rasa kena tindih tu datang balik. Aku terkaku tegak macam tiang lampu depan Ghaz. "Pelik jugak ea, macam mana kau sampai dekat tempat ni" Aku cuba nak bercakap, tapi entah apa yang aku mumble-kan aku pun tak tahu. 

    Dalam hati dah sumpah seranah, tapi bila aku dapat sedikit ketenangan, aku berzikir. Bacalah benda2 basic tu, sampai lidah aku jadi lembut balik nak bercakap. I can't really explain this, but this is so surreal to experience it first hand. 

    "Sampai hati kau! Oni skip dua sem sebab sakit ni. Apa salah dia?!" Ghaz tersentak ke belakang. Terkejut kut, sebab aku bercakap balik.

    "Aik, pelik..." Dia garu kepala. Muka playful dia dah bertukar serius. "No hard feeling, Oni tak suka aku, aku suka dia, aku hantar hadiah. Dia terima, dengan hati terbuka."

    "Hati terbuka kepala hotak kau!" Membuak2 darah aku, nak je aku hantuk kepala malaun ni, tapi satu badan tak boleh gerak. 

    "Relaxlah Rin, aku bukan hantar kat kau, aku bagi Oni. Teach her a lesson. Jangan cepat tabur janji, jangan tanam tebu tepi bibir."

    "You're sick!" I don't know why, tapi tiba2 aku menangis. Laju je air mata aku mengalir. Rasa sebak, takut, risau, semua campur. Sampai hati Ghaz buat Oni macam ni. Dah lebih setahun Oni terseksa kena sihir. Perbuatan tak berhati perut. 

    "Cakap dengan kau pun tak guna Rin. Baliklah kau, bukannya boleh buat apa pun." Ghaz datang dekat. Dia paut dua lengan aku, goncang badan aku kuat2. 

    "RIN! RIN!" Tu suara Dian, tapi keluar dari mulut Ghaz. Pelik...

    Aku pejamkan mata kuat2, bila aku bukak mata, aku nampak empat orang perempuan tu dah keliling aku. Dian yang goncang badan aku, dan dia yang jerit panggil nama aku tadi. Oook, what just happened? Aku duduk, tapi tiba2 menyengat satu badan aku sakit macam kena tikam dengan pisau. Aku terbaring balik. Air mata mengalir sebab sakit sangat. Berguling2 aku atas lantai. Mia dah menangis macam budak kecik, Bri cepat2 peluk dia, Azi dengan Dian masing2 pegang kaki tangan aku. 

    Satu badan aku menggeletar. Macam kena simbah dengan air sejuk beku, lepas tu badan kau kena campak dalam api. Macam tulah yang aku rasa. Kejap sejuk, kejap panas. Kejap sejuk, kejap panas. Aku pandang Dian. Masing2 mata dah berair, jangan cakap mata, hidung, mulut, semua dah berair. 

    "Kau kenapa ni Rin?" soal Azi. Muka dia panik betul.

    "Entah2, dia dah berpindah ke Rin" Aku pandang muka Dian. Dia pun sama panik. Aku paksa badan berhenti menggeletar. Aku tarik nafas. Rasa sakit tadi berkurangan, tapi antara skala 10, rasa sakit yang berskala 10 tadi dah kurang ke skala 9. Not much of a difference. 

    "Oni mana?" soal aku semput menahan sakit.

    "Kau ok tak Rin?" soal Dian. Dia pegang bahu aku, pastikan aku ok. Aku angguk.

    "Kenapa kau berguling macam orang hilang akal tadi?" soal Azi.

    "Senggugut lah gila!" Mia yang menangis macam budak tak dapat aiskrim tadi terus tergelak besar. Azi dengan Bri pun gelak jugak. Dian mengeluh panjang.

    "Aku ingat benda dalam badan Oni dah transfer masuk dalam badan kau."

    "Oni mana?" soalan aku masih belum berjawab.

    "Dia masuk bilik dia balik. Lepas dia serang kau tadi, dia terus tersedar. Lepas tu kitorang bawak dia masuk bilik, dia terus tidur." Aku makin pelik. So...aku kena serang tadi? Sebab Ghaz nak muncul bagitahu yang ini semua angkara dia ke? Bodoh jugak dia tu, pergi pecahkan rahsia sendiri. Aku pandang Dian.

    "Aku tahu siapa yang punya angkara Oni jadi macam ni" Azi dengan Dian pandang aku. Bila aku nak sebut nama Ghaz, Oni yang Dian cakap dalam bilik tadi, muncul depan pintu utama. Dia bukak pintu, dengan berkaki ayam, dan half naked, dia lari keluar rumah.
  • (A 3/6/2014 saved entry)
    Aku selak rambut ke depan, kahwinkan pipi aku dengan meja makan depan aku. Lambat sangat menunggu Edi dengan Dian. Beli makanan ke buat makanan? Dahlah suruh aku cop tempat, cmon man, bdak darjah satu ke nak cop2 tempat ni. kalau takde meja kat sini, bungkus jelah makan kat hostel. Bukannya jauh pun. Aku matikan perasaan malu sebab ada dua tiga orang student tengok aku pelik sbb terbaring bosan atas meja. I mean, aku mcm orang patah leher, tengok orang lalu lalang dengan mata je bergerak. Haha.

    "Tepi sikit" Dian duduk depan aku, dia kuis rambut aku, letak bungkusan makanan dia atas meja. 

    "Aku tunggu macam orang bodoh, kau bungkus nasi kau? Terbaik punya kawan."

    "Lah, Edi cakap dia ada futsal kejap lagi, tu yang dia suruh bungkus je, dia nak otw terus lepas hantar kita balik."

    "Habis tu aku nak makan apa? Aku tak beli lagi."

    "Aku dah belikanlah wahai kawan yang terbaik. Kau ingat aku ni benak sangat ke nak suruh kau tunggu sorang2."

    "Nasi bujang lagi ea?"

    "Taklah, char kuey teow." Aku senyum. Pandai pun. Tekak aku mmg tak selera nak makan nasi yang dari beras yang dari padi tu buat masa sekarang, sbb aku tengah period. Mood swing, dan allergic nasi. Blah lah kau Rin, kemaen allergic bagai. 

    "Dah siap?" Edi datang. Dia pun beli sesuatu yang berbungkus. Tapi aku malas nak tanya. Kitorang berjalan ke kereta, aku duduk belakang. Kenapa aku duduk belakang? Sebab Edi yang drive, sebab apa Edi yang drive? Sebab tu kereta dia, dan aku ni anak tangga ke dua puluh tujuh untuk dia selepas dia letak minah Dian tu anak tangga pertama. You see, Dian tu awek dia. 

    Lima minit, sampai rumah.

    "Syg, u elok2 main bola ok." 

    "Futsal lah bi." 

    Aku dah muntah dah part ni. (=.=') 

    "Kalau nak romen-romen, bagi aku keluar dari kereta ni dulu." Edi gelak besar, dia unlock, aku blah dengan char kuey teow. Apa couple tu buat seterusnya dalam kereta aku tak mau amik tahu, dua2 dah besar, tak payah orang azankan yang mana baik yang mana buruk. 

    Lif sampai, aku masuk, dan hold. Dian lari anak masuk lif. Dia lap mulut dengan tangan. 

    "Samak mulut kau kalau nak kongsi char kuey teow aku." Muka Dian merah padam.

    "Jahat! Kitorang tak buat apa2 lah." Dia sengih macam kerang busuk.

    "Kau ingat aku ni cacat otak ke?" Dia sengih lagi. 

    Pintu lif terbuka. Tingkat enam. Ada tiga orang perempuan depan muka kitorang. Terkejut beruk aku, hampir2 aku campak char kuey teow aku kat muka diorang. Bri, Mia dengan Azi. 

    "Oni meracau weyh!" Tegak bulu roma aku. Tadi Dian lap mulut kan?, sekarang dia tutup mulut guna tangan. Muka sorang2 dah pucat.

    "Bagilah aku keluar dari lif ni wahai bitches." Diorang terus melekap dengan aku. "Aku tahulah badan aku menggiurkan, tak payah nak gesel2 sgt nanti ada yang gersang" Mia dah start menangis. 

    "Baru kejap ni ke Bri?" soal Dian. Dia angguk je, dah tak keluar suara. Muka masing2 cuak. Macam darah tak mengalir ke kepala je aku tengok. "Nak aku call Edi balik ke? Dia mesti tak jauh lagi tu" cadangan Dian tu memberangsangkan, tapi aku tak rasa Edi tu boleh sembuhkan perempuan meracau. So, I passed. 

    "Tak payahlah, baik call Minah. Dia expert sikit." Grill ternganga luas, pintu tak berkunci. "Bertuahnya kawan2 saya tak kunci grill."

    "Mana sempat, dia jerit macam apa entah tadi, lintang pukang lari nak turun." suara Bri.

    "Takde sapa pegang ke? Mana tau dia lari ke balkoni, mau arwah kawan kita." 

    "Isyh, Rin! Jangan cakap camtu...Mia dah macam apa entah ni." Azi tenangkan Mia. 

    "Mia taknak masuk." Dia dah lepaskan pautan kat lengan aku, dan berundur beberapa tapak. Azi terus peluk dia. Bri pun ikut peluk, saling berpeluk-pelukan pulak diorang ni. Aku pandang Dian. 

    "Kau nak main peluk2 jugak?" Dian geleng. 

    "Kau je yang paling berani dalam geng kita ni, kau masuklah dulu." suara Bri ketar2. Aku bukan nak tunjuk lagak ke apa, tapi aku beranikan jugak masuk. Rumah dah macam tongkang pecah, perabot semua dah berterabur tak macam rumah perempuan aku tengok. Meja atas sofa, kerusi atas meja, tv atas lantai. Aku mengucap perlahan. Sebenarnya, belum sempat aku mengucap dah ada satu helaan nafas kasar tepi tengkuk aku. Bila aku toleh, Oni ada dekat belakang pintu.

    "Hai Rin." Oni senyum lebar mata buntang pandang aku.